Life is Precious…Be a “Do-er” to the End

 by Amy Atcha

Life is precious. Taking care of those you love, including yourself, should be a rewarding and satisfying experience. While these words may sound like common sense, we often find reasons to delay or excuse ourselves from doing so. Sadly, it can take a serious event for us to realize the inherent value. This is what happened to me.

One day he was fine; the next, he was in a coma.  During the following six years, my brother lived in a state of dementia, confusion and disorientation. Watching him change from a thriving self-sufficient adult to a confused, incoherent and completely dependent child seemingly overnight, I learned the hard way that living a competent life is a gift.

As his Legal Guardian, I also learned that picking up the pieces of someone else’s life is a VERY BIG challenge.  Where did he keep his important papers?  Where did he want to live now that he could no longer make the decision on his own?  Who would care for him?

What if something happened to you and someone had to “step into your shoes”, whether for a month, a year or for the rest of your life?    What if you couldn’t care for yourself?  Worse yet, what if this happened and you weren’t prepared?

And what about those tough decisions – the final decisions of your life? Who will be there to take care of you? Does that person know what you want?  Does that person know what your beliefs and wishes are?

An illness, or worse, is a challenging time, draining the emotional and physical strength from both the afflicted and their loved ones. For most of us, we think we will either be alive or dead, but rarely do we contemplate another alternative. 

Needless to say, I persevered through my brother’s ordeal with the help and support of family, friends and advisors. But it made me realize….it all could have been much easier if only my brother had been organized and prepared for these unpleasant times.  In truth, we will all be in this, or a similar situation, one day. That’s life, but how many of us are prepared?

For many, we have a defined routine to our daily lives.  We know that we must wake up at a specific time, go to work, take care of the family and ourselves.   Most of us are cognizant of the benefits to eating healthy, exercising, relaxing and spending time with others.  Yet, we don’t always do these things to the level that we should or as often as we should.

But to what extent are we prepared for the “out of the ordinary” situations?  Isn’t it incumbent upon us, as “doers,” as opposed to “drifters,” to plan for the unexpected?   Should we not make planning for our future part of our “life plan,” both the good and the bad times?

I know that if my brother had made some plans – and more importantly, shared them with the rest of the family – we would have had a less stressful time.  So now it’s my turn to learn from this tragic event and make sure I plan for these hard times. Not just for myself, but for my family, to avoid “drifting” through the challenges.

I used to think that there would always be time to do this “later”, perhaps on a rainy day or when I got older.  The reality of it is, we never know when the unexpected situation will happen upon us – that’s why it’s called ‘unexpected.’  My brother, Jeff, was only 42 years old when he had his heart attack and his life changed – as well as mine.  So I ask you, how old are you now?

Add this task to your “to-do” list and prioritize it as your top concern, even if only to make weekly notations until it’s done.  Be proud of yourself for being a “doer,” and continue to be one during those unexpected, but seemingly inevitable times.  While you’re organizing your time, saving your money, and caring for your health for today – don’t forget to do it for your future days too. We must all learn to plan for those times – after all, we all know that one day they will come.

Amy K. Atcha is the author of ME: Facts and Forecasts, A Guide for Now and Later – which is actually written by YOU. This book is the ultimate gathering place for critical facts and wishes for any individual. From daily medications and routines, to listings of property, to end of life care decisions, this comprehensive book is a must for ensuring your loved ones know how to care for you and what your wishes are. Amy is the President and Founder of Customized Caring – a company specializing in Guardianship and Power of Attorney Services, Life Coaching and More.  From her website, www.customizedcaring.com, you can learn more about Amy, purchase her book, and arrange for seminars where she will lead you through the process of being a “doer” for life.